A Wonderfully Horrible Day
by Catorrina
Summary: What was originally a court case between Lucario and Link and the world's best prosecuting defense Bob turns into a random, exploding, character-filled nut-job world based on boredom, torment, fluffy pillow monkeys, and obsession. Current characters:55
1. Chapter 1

My crazy sister came up with this idea

_My crazy sister came up with this idea. It cracked me up, so I'm writing it. My cat would d like to say something now: l,;.tyyy's. Okay, that was more fun than it should be. The story's _supposed _to be stupid by the way. ; D We do not own anything in this story but the stupidity,and apologize In advance if you don't like how we've portrayed the charactors._

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A WONDERFULLY HORRIBLE DAY

This story takes place in a courtroom. The judge is Ganondorf (not Judy). The defendant is Link, and his translator is Navi. Lucario is suing. Casually, he takes his place as the attorney, my crazy sister, we'll call her Bob (her idea), begins asking questions. "WHEN did this all start," she said in her fake accent, wearing a bright purple suit fit for a giant.

(Lucario's POV) "I guess it all started when Coronomon crashed into me."

FLASHBACK MODE

_Lucario is staring stupidly at the sky. Suddenly, something very heavy knocked him to the ground. Looking up, he noticed that the creature's tail was on fire._

_"OMG, your tail's on fire," he exclaimed._

_"DUDE, it's supposed to do that," the creature replied._

_"Oh…"_

_Suddenly, out of nowhere a weird guy fell on their heads. And a small blue "thingy dong"(Sis) followed._

_"Waaaahhhh," screamed the guy._

_"He says, I'm sorry for landing on your cheeseburger," the puffball said._

_"Hiya. Whaahh."_

_"Scratch that. He meant your sorry bums, not your cheeseburger."_

_"Wha."_

_"His name's Link, did I get that right?"_

_"Hah."_

_"Ignoring that, my name's Navi." As the group walked away, they passed up Darth Vader playing checkers with KING Arthur. _

_"King me," Darth Vader exclaimed._

_"WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOO! I want to be king! I've got DIIIIIIBBBBS," King Arthur cried._

_"Calm down, you must, or die you will," Yoda said, out of nowhere._

_"Okaaaaaaaay," Coronomon (burning tail person) said. Just then, a rock fell from the sky, hitting Navi on the head. _

_"How does that keep happening," Lucario asked._

_"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE STEAMROLLER," Coronomon shouted. Then it hit her. Literally, the steamroller hit Navi (I don't know why it's so fun to beat her up, but it _is_ muahhaaaahaaa). They then watched casually as a circus train followed the steamroller up the road, chased by an angry mob of chess players. _

_"That was _not_ fun!" Navi complained as she picked herself off the ground._

_"I never did get an answer to my question," Lucario said._

_"What was that?" Everyone chorused. From somewhere in the background, they heard Darth Vader shout "KING ME," again._

_"Why do things keep falling from the sky?"_

_Navi and Link exchanged looks before saying, "you don't wanna know."_

END FLASHBACK

_Like it? It was really fun to write. We will continue as much as possible. If you have any ideas (put in any characters you like) then say so in your reviews. Thank you! : D_


	2. Chapter 2

YAY

YAY! More random chaos! And Keroanne1 of coarse you can hit Navi! IMPOOSTING. What does it mean? How should I know?

DISCLAIMER: We don't own any characters in this wonderful fanfic…or McDonalds…  I DO OWN THE TOMATOES THOUGH… :)

_I feel bad for the characters in the story- 'cept Navi- but here's chapter two:_

_hi_

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Chapter Two: **Chaos in the Courtroom**

Once upon a time there was a lovely courtroom… oops we already told you this.

So, _anyway_ Lucario finished his flashback and the rest of the room woke up. Gannondork…Gannondord…Gannon said, "yes, that's all very nice Lucario, but I don't see what it has to do with anything."

"I was getting there."

"I OBJECT," Bob shouted from across the room. She was wearing a fake mustache.

"Sir…ma'am, I thought you were on Lucario's side." Gannon replied.

"No, that's Bob."

"I thought you were Bob."

"OF COURSE NOT. I'm…um…Frankfurt Jowe! Yeah, that's it…"

"Riiiiiight. So, Frankfurt Joe-"

"That's Jowe with a w and e at the end. Pay attention to your spelling."

"Okay…so Frankfurt Jowe, why do you object?"

"I forget."

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Gannon beat his head off the table.

"I OBJECT!" King Arthur shouted from the back.

"You can't object, you're not part of this case!"

"I object for him then!" Bob shouted, taking his…her place by Lucario.

"Why do you object?"

"Because he can't."

"Overruled!"

"I OBJECT," Navi shouted.

"You can't."

"Why not!?"

"Because you're an annoying twit!" Gannon shouted.

"But…" Navi's annoying complaints were cut off, however when Keroanne1 jumped out of her seat, and began beating her with a frying pan. The rest of the group watched as she walked back to her seat. "Ow," Navi said.

"Your ugliness, it seems that my client is without a translator." A random guy walked into the courtroom wearing a boring suit and carrying a briefcase.

"And just who are you," Gannon was getting a migraine.

"I am this client's lawyer," Mr. Random Guy said, pointing at Link.

"I thought Frankfurt Jowe was this client's lawyer."

"No, I am."

"I can't stand it anymore. You know what? GET OUT OF MY COURTROOM!"

"But sir I-"

"I can't take anymore chaos, get out!!" And so, he did. Then, he went to go get dry pants. "Now, Link. Since Navi is in no condition to speak, you have no translator. Look deep inside yourself, and I know you'll be able to speak. PLEASE!"

For a moment, Link had a look of intense concentration, then, he said, "Tu eres un pina fea y estupida y no eres intelejente o bonita o simpatico. Y tienes pies grandes. Y una nariz platino. Y tu cara es verde."

"Okay, does anyone know what the weird guy said?" Gannon asked.

"He said 'You are an ugly, stupid pineapple and are not intelligent or pretty or nice. And you have big feet. And a banana nose. And your face is green.' And while we're on the subject, you kinda smell bad," Coronomon translated, "he's speaking Spanish."

"HE SAID ALL OF THAT?"

"No, I added the smell bad thing."

"UHHHH. Link, can you speak something OTHER than Spanish."

Link thought for a moment, then began speaking in German. Gannon looked at Coronomon.

"Umm…" he began, "I don't think you want to know."

"Okay, new plan. Either Link learns English, Navi gets better, or I call Kapeora Gabeora (srry if I spelled it wrong) to take my place."

Navi got up after hearing this threat. "I'm- ow- okay," she said.

"Now that that's settled, shall we continue?" Everyone had run out of interruptions, so, reluctantly, they nodded. For a minute, Gannon thought that everything would settle down.

Then, Bob shouted, "FLUFFY PILLOW MONKEYS!!" And the sky filled with falling tomatoes. French fries followed.

"What is this, a McDonalds," Gannon shouted.

"I WANT A BIG MAC!!" Frankfurt Jowe shouted. Suddenly, a chocolate milkshake fell from the sky. Jowe walked away, content.

"I WANT WHAT SHE HAD!" Link shouted. Everyone stopped and stared, including the tomatoes, at Link, who was quietly eating his cheese the great McDonalds gave him.

" Link, why don't you talk to MEEE?" Gannon sounded as if he was going to cry.

"Hiyaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh." Link replied, licking his cheese.

"He only talks to people he likes," Coronomon said, rudely.

"FLUFFY PILLOW MON-" Lucario placed a hand above Bob's oral cavity before she could cry the rest.

_No, this doesn't explain _anything_ but, that's the point! Mwahhaaahaaahaa! On the last sentence, we played with synonyms. Next time, we'll tell Link's side of the story! In the meantime: FLUFFY PILLOW MONKEYS!! _


	3. Chapter 3

YAAAAYYYY

_YAAAAYYYY! WEEEEEEEEEEE! I love these words! But enough about _cool_ words, let's get on with the story words:_

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CHAPTER THREE

Gannon cleared his throat before speaking. It had taken three _long_ hours to get the court settled, and he was getting a migraine. Gannon cannot get migraines. "Now, are there_ any more_ problems to take care of?" Naturally, Bob raised her hand.

"Can I go to the potty-room?"

"NO!"

"Please?"

"NO!"

"Why not?"

"Because I said so!"

Then, Link cut in. "Gannondork tiene nariz platino y estupido." (_In some way, this translates to Gannondork has a stupid banana nose.)_

"…I give up with him. Can we get on with this?"

Link cleared his esophagus (err… _throat). _Navi then began translating.

FLASHBACK: Link/Navi's POV

_Well, since Lucario already cleared up the _boring_ part, we'll get this over with quickly. For the start, we didn't say you don't want to know. We said, and I quote…err…ummm…ahh…hmm…I'd rather not say. Then, we all moved on with our libraries…err…lives. Then, the most interesting things happened…Coronomon bought us all ice cream! Except for Navi. No one likes her. _"HEY," she shouted. Link told her to shut up and get on with the dumb flashback._ Then, as we walked outside giant rocks began falling from the sky. One hit Lucario's ice cream. He cried. _

_Then, he screamed, "I am suing you!" And then, you walked up, Gannon, talking to Bob about different puppies, or something. Then, Link shouted to you and threatened to stab you in the gut if you didn't judge this and Bob wouldn't stop crying until we agreed to make her lawyer. Then, she shouted FLUFFY PILLOW MONKEYS, and now we're here…_

END STUPID FLASHBACK

"Did I get all that?" Navi asked. Link nodded.

"Okay, now, I must ask two questions. WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SUING LINK? FOR AN ICE CREAM YOU DIDN'T EVEN BUY?? AND WHY AM I THE JUDGE?"

"Because I wanted to. And because you didn't have anything better to do."

"Oh. How much are you suing for?"

"2.4 million."

"Okay. Navi, you are to pay Lucario that money."

"BUT…WHY?"

"Because I said so. You're an annoying twit. I hate you. AND I'm getting a migraine and want this pain to end."

"Estas no saliendo." Gannon looked expectantly at Coronomon.

"You're not leaving. And buy some deodorant." Gannon glared and Coronomon added quickly, "I'm buying everyone ice cream. Except Navi."

"WHY?"

"Aren't you catching on? We don't like you. Besides, you owe Lucario money. And we don't like you. And Keroanne1's taking your share of ice cream. And did I mention we don't like you?" Coronomon replied.

"Quiero golpear tu. Tu y Gannon son estupido. Muy estupido"

"I want to hit you. You and Gannon are stupid. Very stupid." Navi glared at him. "What? I'm just the translator." And then, everyone left the room. Except Navi. Who cried. A lot.

THE END. JUST KIDDING! I'M NOT DONE YET! WE'RE GOING TO CONTINUE WITH LIMERICKS. LIKE THIS:

There once was a fat man named Ganny

_Who wanted to hug his granny_

_So he started to skip_

_And then he tripped_

_And then he fell on his fanny._

_LIMERICKS!!_


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to everyone who reviewed

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed. And yes, this is supposed to be stupid. _

_**Again, I don't own any of this crap. Except for the stupidity. That's the best, isn't it?**_

CHAPTER FOUR

PURE CHAOS

We pick up with our nerds sitting inside of the ice cream shop. They were all present, except for Keroanne1, who decided to form an angry mob to beat up Navi. And Frankfurt Jowe, who mysteriously vanished every time Bob was around. Strange, no? Anyway, they were all sitting there, eating their Ice cream. Link was talking to Coronomon in Spanish, Bob was watching King Arthur play checkers with Darth Vader, and Gannon was wishing that Link had killed him. And that he wasn't chained to a bench.

"Will someone unchain me?" He cried.

"Nope." Everyone answered at once.

"Link, please kill me!"

Link whispered something in Coronomon's ear. "He said that you're too much fun to kill. And he sold the Master Sword on Ebay."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

"You know what this story needs?" Bob asked suddenly.

"What?"

"A LIMERICK CONTEST!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." If there was one thing Gannon hated worse than his life, it was limericks.

"TOO LATE! FLUFFY PILLOW MONKEYS! (IN CASE YOU HADN'T GUESSED, THAT'S THE MAGIC WORDS)!"

And so, I finally found the comma button, and the nerds found themselves on a stage, with a crowd of Redeads and Morons alike. And popcorn. But none of that was important as Bob stepped up to the mike.

"'Hem. I would like to dedicate this limerick to Gannondork:

_There once was a fat man named Ganny,_

_Who wanted to hug his granny, _

_So he started to skip,_

_And then he tripped,_

_And then he fell on his fanny._

The end." Bob bowed. His limerick was answered with thunderous cheers.

"That's nothing," Coronomon said, standing up,

"_There once was an Etamon named Fred_

_One day, he wet the bed_

_HE cried and cried _

_And then, he died_

Because he lost his head

Fin." Again, thunderous applause.

"Link, it's your turn."

"No. Yo no quiero decir a las personas."

"He said 'no. I don't want to speak to the people."

"Party pooper. Frankfurt Jowe?" Bob "sneezed" and suddenly, Frankfurt Jowe was standing there. I never will understand how they do that…

"Okay, if you insist:

There once was a puffball named Navi

_Who made everyone unhappy_

_So Keroanne1 had some fun_

_And killed the puffball named Navi._

FYI, this is based on a true story," she said, bowing, "Gannon, your turn."

"No. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. NO. Gannondork…dorf…blast you morons…I do not recite limericks."

"Than just say them then. No need to recite." Frankfurt Jowe said, pushing Gannon up to the mike.

"Fine. Hmph.

There once was a moron named Link

_Who dreamed he ate his sink_

_Then, he woke up and beat the crap outta Navi._

Done." Then, he sat down.

"Gannon, that wasn't a limerick. You cheated and are disqualified." Gannon beat his head off the table Coronomon politely gave him. It broke, so he fell on the floor. He curled up into fetal position and refused to move.

"…ignoring the poor insane man, I will now announce the winner! It's this dust particle!" Everyone cheered for, of course, the dust particle was their favorite after all…

"And now for You're Pitiful. Sung by Link for Gannondork."

Link cleared his throat, and began:

"**You're Pitiful**

My life is brilliant...

What, was I too early? Oh, sorry. Should I...Do you wanna start over? Or, keep going?  
Okay, now? Now?

My life is brilliant  
Your life's a joke  
You're just pathetic  
You're always broke

Your homemade Star Trek uniform  
really ain't impressin' me  
You're sufferin' from delusions of  
Adequicy

You're Pitiful (X3) It's true

Never had a date  
That ya couldn't inflate  
And ya smell repulsive too  
What a bummer bein' you

Well ya just can't dance  
And forget romance  
Everybody you know still calls ya  
Farty Pants

But you always have a job well I mean

As long as you still can work that slurpie machine

You're Pitiful (X3) It's true

You're half undressed  
Eatin' chips of your chest  
While you're playin' Halo 2  
No one's classier than you

Lalala la  
Lalala la  
Lalala la Loser

You're Pitiful (X3) It's true

Your dog would much rather  
Play fetch by itself

You still live with your Mom and you're 42

Guess you'll never grow a clue  
When it just sucks to be you." 

Link bowed and sat down. Gannon screeched something about his injured pointy ears. But no one paid attention. The real star was that cookie crumb on the ground. Eagerly, everyone crowded around to admire its awesomness. Then, everyone went home. Except Gannon, who was still tied to a bench, and Navi, who was too injured to move. They both cried. A lot. Navi cried more though, 'specially when some old fart came back and took Gannon home with him. Everyone forgot about Navi…HOORAY!!

Like it? Sure ya do! Why would you read the fourth chapter if you didn't like it? And why is my computer so stupid? Who knows? The next chapter features a "Chocobo of Death," more Navi torture, cats, Tabuu (The Brawl game, duh) and Grovyle. We will also be endangering the world as we know it. That sound like fun? Of course!

REVIEW PLEASE. _Bye._


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry, I posted this on my other fanfic by mistake... oops!

'Hem! First of all, I'd like to thank everybody that reviewed. Thanks for the encouragement. Secondly, I'd like to…umm…oh yeah! Point out that I have a poll for this story. Check it out. Now…on with the stupidity.

CHAPTER FIVE:

Chocobo of Death and Other Craziness

Once upon a time, there was a group of nerds named Lucario, Gannon, Bob, Frankfurt Jowe, Link, Coronomon, Keroanne1, that awesome cookie crumb, a rock, and…a stupid fairy named Navi. After suing each other, they all decided to beat up Navi and become friends. 'cept Gannon, he was dragged into this story forcefully. This chapter is about them, Grovyle, a mysterious button, and the Chocobo of Death.

We find our dear nerds, and Navi, who's below nerd, walking away from the stage. They had gotten bored, so they decided to go back to get Navi and locate Gannon, both of which they loved to torture. Bob was beginning the torture by singing a duet of "You're Pitiful" with the beforementioned rock. Everyone thought they would die before the song was over. Link even cried, "MY EARS! MY POINTY EARS!" Which caused Gannon to cry, because Link never talked to _him_. And then, they heard a sound.

"WAAARK!" the Chocobo of Death cried as he aimed at Gannon's face. He missed however, and hit Navi, who was thrown 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000009898.1 inches away. (Hate to be the guy they got to measure that). Keroanne1 decided to follow Navi, and step on her wherever she was, since that was the reason she was there.

"Sorry mates! I can't believe I missed Cap'n Ugly's big head. Anyway, I'm-"

"El chocobo de muerto."

"I am not the Chocobo of Death! I'm the _Chibi_ Chocobo of Death!" He whined. And he was, as my friend Kara put it once CHIBINESS!! And then the story ended…

"NOT QUITE" a mysterious voice called. It was Tabuu.

He was answered by Grovyle shouting, "WAIT! I'M THE NARRATOR!"

"Really?"

"No…"

"THAT'S BECAUSE I AM," Bob shouted suddenly.

"WHAT!?" Everyone exclaimed at once.

"FOR CRYIN OUT LOUD! WILL YOU ALL SHUT THE HECK UP!?" I called (what? I wanted to have fun too.) "I'm the flippin narrator!"

"Yeah, sure." Bob didn't want anyone ruining her fun.  
"WELL, WHOEVER IS THE NARRATOR: CAN I PLEASE DIE NOW?" Gannon cried.

"Then, a giant building fell on top of him. He still didn't die." I narrorated.

"That was _beep _cool… hey wait a minute! I didn't swear."

"You're right what the _beep_ is going on? I didn't swear either."

Then, they all saw Frankfurt Jowe holding the _beep_er button. They decided to kill her. Lucario decided to stay away from the other crazies. Tabuu decided to get killed in Brawl. Gannon decided that he wanted to get out from under a building. Link decided that he liked puppies. And I decided to leave before things got ugly. Oh, too late, Gannon was there.

Luckily for Frankfurt Jowe and me (I don't think my parents would be too happy with me if my sis was dead) a weird random dude showed up holding a strange button.

"Delivery for Bob." Suddenly, Bob was standing where Frankfurt Jowe was…amazing!

"That'd be me!"

"Ahem! You endanger the world as we know it! Your punishment is that you will turn into a cat whenever you want. Here, take this." He handed the button to Bob and ran away screaming for no apparent reason.

"Chocolate," Bob screamed and began chewing on the button.

"That's not-" Coronomon began.

"-don't! She'll start crying if you interrupt her chocolate moment!"

"But…" but he never finished his sentence. Bob had found the buttony part of the button, and pushed it.

"SeLf DeStRuCtInG In TeN SeCoNdS." A strange voice called from nowhere. "NiNe…EiGhT…"

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Cried the Chibi Chocobo of Death, "I don't want to die."

"I do!" Gannon called.

"SiX…FiVe…FoUr…

"Quick, Bob! Say the magic words!"

"FLUFFY…"

"ThReE…"

"PILLOW…"

"TwO…"

"MONK-" too late!

"OnE…boom!"

"We're still…alive," Coronomon said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." Gannon cried.

"How did that happen?" Grovyle said. (In case you were wondering, he has an awesome voice, like the one in Mystery Dungeon: Explorers…or Mewtwo for those of you who saw the first movie.)

"Instead of wiping out our planet, they decided to destroy Neptune."

"FIRST PLUTO, THEN NEPTUNE…WHO'S NEXT?" Bob asked in a voice that nearly destroyed everyone's eardrums.

"Technically, it would be Uranus." Coronomon said.

"_Cough…cough…smarty-pants…cough_" Gannon said. Coronomon stuck out his tongue at him.

"Now that we are all done with that near death experience………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… who wants some CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!" (_To those of you who are too lazy to read this, I just held down the letters that spell CHEESENESS. And to those of you who aren't, the world may have a chance after all.)_

"CHEESE? I LOVE CHEESE! CAN I HAVE SOME, PLLLEEEEEEAAAAASE?" Grovyle begged.

"Of course you may, dear ol' chap! Anyone who likes a spot o' cheese is good in my book," Bob tried speaking in a lousy accent.

"You're all nerds. I'm gonna go read the dictionary now," Coronomon said.

"And he calls us nerds," Link said, snickering.

"I'm just gonna…go turn off my toaster." Gannon tried to walk away. Unluckily for him, Keroanne1 decided to come back with the now-half-dead-and-all-squished-and-squashed Navi in her pocket. She quickly stopped Gannon by "dropping" the aforementioned Navi so that she landed right were Gannon was to walk. Naturally, he fell, landed on Link, which caused him to fall, and produce a domino effect, ending with the cheese, which was flattened.

"STEVE!" Bob cried, "YOU KILLED STEVE, YOU STUPID FAIRY!" And so, the nearly dead Navi became the barely alive Navi (_It's no fun torturing someone who's dead_) and Bob resumed mourning over the poor cheese.

"You named your cheese Steve?" Coronomon said in an I-can't-believe-I'm-hanging-with-such-a-dork voice.

"And it was a lovely name too," Grovyle said, crying too. Everyone else sweatdropped and backed away slowly, leaving the nerds to plan their dear "Steve's" funeral. Suddenly, they saw it…

And that's where I'm ending today for three reasons. One, because I need to mourn over my dear friend, Steve sniffle. Two, because it's my story and I want to. And three, because I needed a break from rambling...

_What the s mean:_

_Name changed because I am not stupid and am not gonna reveal my friend-who's-not-Lisa's name. (Some of you think her name's Lisa now, don't you? Hehehe)_

_Dumb punishment, no? This part from "you endanger the world" to "turn into a cat" was part of an actual dream my sis had during summer vacation…_


	6. Chapter 6

'_Ello, Catorirrina isn't 'ere right now! Remember kids: Don't use formula 1-race cars (I do _**NOT**_ care if I spelled it wrong ____) to chase hedgehogs…! WAIT! I meant don't read stories you don't like! Keroanne1, since you don't care, I say YOU SHALL FINALLY SPEAK!!! Okay peoples, let's start the chaos…_

**Chapter 6:**

The Mega-Awesome-Cheese dogs

We find our dear friends in an open field. Lucario is riding Mr. Chibi Chocobo of Death. Suddenly, Keroanne1 shouts, "Whoever kicks Navi the most gets a piece of pie!"

"WHAT!!!!!??????" Navi screeched.

The first one to kick her was Midna. "I'm Link's sidekick!"

"NO, I am!" Navi screeched in reply.

"I' m more awesome, and I look kind of evil, and I'm cuter, and I can do this," She turned Link into a wolf. "He's so CUTE!!!!!!" She turned him back. "Still cute… besides, I'm not you."

"…! We need Zelda so you guys can fight over me!" Link said.

"Link, you don't talk to mee!!!! And I want a date that's not plastic!" Gannon cried.

"Never had a date, that ya' couldn't inflate, and you smell repulsive too. What a bummer bein' you." Frankfurt Jowe sang, looking at Gannon. She looked behind her, and Bob was sitting there.

"You're Pitiful, You're Pitiful, You're Pitiful it's true." Bob sang. "Now, who wants Mega-Awesome-Cheese Dogs?"

"Pick ME!" It was Grovyle.

(Bob got bored, so I, Catorrina, will finish this chapter. Looking at the abovedness though, I decided to force her to write more often)

Link now had two girlfriends and a stupid fairy. As the group walked away, they found themselves in traffic on a highway going into Pittsburgh. Naturally, there was construction that had been going on for THREE YEARS and would most likely fall apart within one year. Also, there was some babbling in the car.

"I need to go to the bathroom!" Bob cried.

"I want my Mega-Awesome-Cheese Dog!" Link said.

"How did Grovyle learn to drive?" Gannon asked, suspiciously.

"Die stupid fairy!" Needless to say, Keroanne1 said this while smooshing Navi against the window.

"SHUT UP BEFORE I TURN THIS OLD, OUTDATED CAR AROUND!"

"No! Thenyou'llbegoingthewrongwayandwe'llallcrashanddieahorribledeathand-"

"Shut the heck up Bob!"

"THAT'S IT! I'm outta here!!!!" Lucario shouted.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLUCARIOWE'REINTHEMIDDLE-FTHEHIGHWAYANDYOU'LLGETHITBYACARANDDIEJUSTLIKEYOUDIDON-THEWAYTOKENNYWOODANDI'LLMISSYOUANDDDIDYOUKNOWTHATMIC-ROSOFTWORDSAYSANYTHINGINALLCAPITALSISSPELLEDRIGHTEVENWHENITSNOTAND-"

"Okay, we get it Bob!!" Bob miraculously shut up.

"The whole eardrum-breaking-thing is the reason I'm leaving. Besides, I won't get hit by a car, we're NOT MOVING!" Gracefully, Lucario climbed out the window. He can do that since he's too skinny and not even four feet tall.

"Isn't that what he said last time?" Bob asked. No one knew though, because no one there was in that car before, and I was still mad at her.

"I think we're going somewhere!" Someone shouted.

"Yeah, about one inch forward." But it was enough! Soon, they heard a sickening thud, followed by Lucario's moaning. Suddenly, he appeared in the back of the car- in a full body cast- smooshing Bob against Navi, who smooshed against the window.

"Wow, how'd you get all bandaged up, and back in the car before we moved?"

"Catorrina decided to not leave me lying on the road like road-kill. And since she's writing this…"

"So she was being nice?" Grovyle asked.

"No, if she was being nice, she wouldn't have left my bones broken. She just wanted to torture Bob and Navi."

Suddenly, Bob started to cry, "IwantmyMegaAwesomeCheeseDogandIneedtogotothebathroomandNaviisstupidandmylaptopjustdiedandnowIcan'twatchYouTube!"

"It's okay, Bob, just let it all out…" Frankfurt Jowe replied. I shouted that Bob was giving me a migraine, but no one heard me because I don't exist in their world. So I transported them to Cheese-Dog Land to shut them up and Bob stopped crying and started to scream. Beside them were some morons dressed up in those oh-so-crappy costumes of bigheaded Sonic the Hedgehog and Knuckles. They walked over and asked how they could get Bob to shut up.

"I want a cheese dog!!" Bob replied, happily bruising their eardrums.

"Sorry miss, but we're all out-"

No sooner had the stupid impersonator said this than Keroanne1 started beating him, his stupid friend, and Navi in the head with a giant frying pan filled with hot bacon grease, screaming, "How could you run out of cheese dogs? IT'S FREAKIN CHEESDOGLAND!!!! It's all your fault, you stupid peoples!! Especially you Navi!!!!!"

Suddenly, the _real_ Sonic showed up and gave everybody cheese dogs. Bob was so happy she wouldn't stop hugging him. Meanwhile, Link was hanging out with his two girlfriends, Gannon was watching King Arthur play chess, and Keroanne1 was happily beating the crap out of Navi and the stupid Sonic people. I'd end the story here, but it seems we have yet to have an explosion so:

While everyone found their happy places, except Navi, who randomly burst into flames after Keroanne1 ran out of hot bacon grease, Frankfurt Jowe was amusing herself by throwing radioactive chemicals at the stupid annoying owl that had shown up and begun ceaselessly babbling. Then, she decided to set Kapeora Gabeora (pardon my spelling) on fire, so she got Link (_what, she can't handle matches! There's no law against a minor having radioactive chemicals though…at least not here) _and had him shoot the bird with a fire arrow. And before you knew it, the world was a giant mushroom-cloud.

"Is that the end?" Gannondork asked, pleadingly.

"Heck no!" I screamed, "It's too much fun beating you up!"

________________________________________________________________

_And thus, we come to the end of this chapter. FYI, me, along with my friend, Bloodra, actually came the Lucario-getting-hit-by-a-car thing while we were stuck in traffic on our way to Kennywood, which is this theme park that has really good fries. Bloodra suggested I put it in, so I did. And it was fun, too! Oh, and I apologize for the slight delay, I got wrapped up in other things- mainly typing my FictionPress stories._


	7. Chapter 6 Strange Summaries

_Note-This does not add on to our story, only further randomizes it. We still don't own any characters, 'sides Bob. _ _Below is the reason why you should NOT use your computer's Auto Summary feature. We took the last chapter of A WONDERFULLY HORRIBLE DAY, and summarized it using the computer. Reading through it, we realized it made absolutely no sense, (not that it did before) so, we decided to post it. Anytime there is a new chapter heading (Mega-Awesome-Cheese Dogs, or something to that extent) a new summary begins. _ The Mega-Awesome-Cheese dogs

Navi screeched.

Link said.

Bob sang. Bob cried.

Link said.

"Shut the heck up Bob!"

Lucario shouted.

Bob miraculously shut up.

Bob asked.

**Chapter 6:**

The Mega-Awesome-Cheese dogs

Navi screeched.

"I'm Link's sidekick!"

Navi screeched in reply.

Link said.

Gannon cried.

Bob sang. "Now, who wants Mega-Awesome-Cheese Dogs?"

Bob cried.

Link said.

"Die stupid fairy!" "Shut the heck up Bob!"

Lucario shouted.

"Okay, we get it Bob!!" Bob miraculously shut up.

Bob asked. Frankfurt Jowe replied. Bob replied, happily bruising their eardrums.

Especially you Navi!!!!!"

**Chapter 6:**

The Mega-Awesome-Cheese dogs

Navi screeched.

"I'm Link's sidekick!"

Navi screeched in reply.

Link said.

Gannon cried.

Bob sang. "Now, who wants Mega-Awesome-Cheese Dogs?"

Link now had two girlfriends and a stupid fairy. Bob cried.

Link said.

"Die stupid fairy!" Needless to say, Keroanne1 said this while smooshing Navi against the window.

"Shut the heck up Bob!"

Lucario shouted.

"Okay, we get it Bob!!" Bob miraculously shut up.

Bob asked. Suddenly, Bob started to cry, "IwantmyMegaAwesomeCheeseDogandIneedtogotothebathroomandNaviisstupidandmylaptopjustdiedandnowIcan'twatchYouTube!"

Frankfurt Jowe replied. "I want a cheese dog!!" Bob replied, happily bruising their eardrums.

Especially you Navi!!!!!"

'_Ello, Catorirrina isn't 'ere right now! Remember kids: Don't use formula 1-race cars (I do _**NOT**_ care if I spelled it wrong ____) to chase hedgehogs…! WAIT! Okay peoples, let's start the chaos…_

**Chapter 6:**

The Mega-Awesome-Cheese dogs

Lucario is riding Mr. Chibi Chocobo of Death. Suddenly, Keroanne1 shouts, "Whoever kicks Navi the most gets a piece of pie!"

"WHAT!!!!!??????" Navi screeched.

"I'm Link's sidekick!"

Navi screeched in reply.

Link said.

"Link, you don't talk to mee!!!! Gannon cried.

"Never had a date, that ya' couldn't inflate, and you smell repulsive too. Frankfurt Jowe sang, looking at Gannon. She looked behind her, and Bob was sitting there.

"You're Pitiful, You're Pitiful, You're Pitiful it's true." Bob sang. "Now, who wants Mega-Awesome-Cheese Dogs?"

"Pick ME!" It was Grovyle.

(Bob got bored, so I, Catorrina, will finish this chapter. Link now had two girlfriends and a stupid fairy. Also, there was some babbling in the car.

Bob cried.

"I want my Mega-Awesome-Cheese Dog!" Link said.

"How did Grovyle learn to drive?" Gannon asked, suspiciously.

"Die stupid fairy!" Needless to say, Keroanne1 said this while smooshing Navi against the window.

"SHUT UP BEFORE I TURN THIS OLD, OUTDATED CAR AROUND!"

"No! Thenyou'llbegoingthewrongwayandwe'llallcrashanddieahorribledeathand-"

"Shut the heck up Bob!"

Lucario shouted.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLUCARIOWE'REINTHEMIDDLE-FTHEHIGHWAYANDYOU'LLGETHITBYACARANDDIEJUSTLIKEYOUDIDON-THEWAYTOKENNYWOODANDI'LLMISSYOUANDDDIDYOUKNOWTHATMIC-ROSOFTWORDSAYSANYTHINGINALLCAPITALSISSPELLEDRIGHTEVENWHENITSNOTAND-"

"Okay, we get it Bob!!" Bob miraculously shut up.

Besides, I won't get hit by a car, we're NOT MOVING!" Gracefully, Lucario climbed out the window. Bob asked. Someone shouted.

"Yeah, about one inch forward." Soon, they heard a sickening thud, followed by Lucario's moaning. Suddenly, he appeared in the back of the car- in a full body cast- smooshing Bob against Navi, who smooshed against the window.

"Catorrina decided to not leave me lying on the road like road-kill. Grovyle asked.

Suddenly, Bob started to cry, "IwantmyMegaAwesomeCheeseDogandIneedtogotothebathroomandNaviisstupidandmylaptopjustdiedandnowIcan'twatchYouTube!"

"It's okay, Bob, just let it all out…" Frankfurt Jowe replied. "I want a cheese dog!!" Bob replied, happily bruising their eardrums.

No sooner had the stupid impersonator said this than Keroanne1 started beating him, his stupid friend, and Navi in the head with a giant frying pan filled with hot bacon grease, screaming, "How could you run out of cheese dogs? IT'S FREAKIN CHEESDOGLAND!!!! It's all your fault, you stupid peoples!! Especially you Navi!!!!!"

Suddenly, the _real_ Sonic showed up and gave everybody cheese dogs. Bob was so happy she wouldn't stop hugging him. Meanwhile, Link was hanging out with his two girlfriends, Gannon was watching King Arthur play chess, and Keroanne1 was happily beating the crap out of Navi and the stupid Sonic people. While everyone found their happy places, except Navi, who randomly burst into flames after Keroanne1 ran out of hot bacon grease, Frankfurt Jowe was amusing herself by throwing radioactive chemicals at the stupid annoying owl that had shown up and begun ceaselessly babbling. Then, she decided to set Kapeora Gabeora (pardon my spelling) on fire, so she got Link (_what, she can't handle matches! _Gannondork asked, pleadingly.

"Heck no!"

**Chapter 6:**

The Mega-Awesome-Cheese dogs

Navi screeched.

"I'm Link's sidekick!"

Navi screeched in reply.

Link said.

Gannon cried.

Bob sang. "Now, who wants Mega-Awesome-Cheese Dogs?"

Link now had two girlfriends and a stupid fairy. Bob cried.

Link said.

"Die stupid fairy!" Needless to say, Keroanne1 said this while smooshing Navi against the window.

"Shut the heck up Bob!"

Lucario shouted.

"Okay, we get it Bob!!" Bob miraculously shut up.

Bob asked. Suddenly, Bob started to cry, "IwantmyMegaAwesomeCheeseDogandIneedtogotothebathroomandNaviisstupidandmylaptopjustdiedandnowIcan'twatchYouTube!"

Frankfurt Jowe replied. "I want a cheese dog!!" Bob replied, happily bruising their eardrums.

Especially you Navi!!!!!"

_WAIT! _**Chapter 6:**

The Mega-Awesome-Cheese dogs

Navi screeched.

"I'm Link's sidekick!"

Navi screeched in reply.

Link said.

Gannon cried.

Frankfurt Jowe sang, looking at Gannon. "You're Pitiful, You're Pitiful, You're Pitiful it's true." Bob sang. "Now, who wants Mega-Awesome-Cheese Dogs?"

(Bob got bored, so I, Catorrina, will finish this chapter. Link now had two girlfriends and a stupid fairy. Also, there was some babbling in the car.

Bob cried.

"I want my Mega-Awesome-Cheese Dog!" Link said.

"Die stupid fairy!" Needless to say, Keroanne1 said this while smooshing Navi against the window.

"SHUT UP BEFORE I TURN THIS OLD, OUTDATED CAR AROUND!"

"No! Thenyou'llbegoingthewrongwayandwe'llallcrashanddieahorribledeathand-"

"Shut the heck up Bob!"

Lucario shouted.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLUCARIOWE'REINTHEMIDDLE-FTHEHIGHWAYANDYOU'LLGETHITBYACARANDDIEJUSTLIKEYOUDIDON-THEWAYTOKENNYWOODANDI'LLMISSYOUANDDDIDYOUKNOWTHATMIC-ROSOFTWORDSAYSANYTHINGINALLCAPITALSISSPELLEDRIGHTEVENWHENITSNOTAND-"

"Okay, we get it Bob!!" Bob miraculously shut up.

Gracefully, Lucario climbed out the window. Bob asked. Someone shouted.

Grovyle asked.

Suddenly, Bob started to cry, "IwantmyMegaAwesomeCheeseDogandIneedtogotothebathroomandNaviisstupidandmylaptopjustdiedandnowIcan'twatchYouTube!"

Frankfurt Jowe replied. "I want a cheese dog!!" Bob replied, happily bruising their eardrums.

No sooner had the stupid impersonator said this than Keroanne1 started beating him, his stupid friend, and Navi in the head with a giant frying pan filled with hot bacon grease, screaming, "How could you run out of cheese dogs? Especially you Navi!!!!!"

Bob was so happy she wouldn't stop hugging him. Meanwhile, Link was hanging out with his two girlfriends, Gannon was watching King Arthur play chess, and Keroanne1 was happily beating the crap out of Navi and the stupid Sonic people.


	8. Chapter 7

_Good morning! …Remember: don't eat cat litter and never play on playgrounds with bathtub-swings. Anyway, sorry for the delay, we were writing a totally different chapter only I can't find the materials we need. And then, I just got caught up in other stuff. It's not my bestest work, but :Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: Yes, I really own this stuff. As if… If I owned them, I'd be on FictionPress, not on FanFiction._

CHAPTER SEVEN

JOBLONI MCANDK

Once upon a time there was such a large group of weirdoes that they had to rent their own tour bus to drive around. Only they couldn't afford the guy that drives the tour bus, so after a long discussion, an argument, a vote, an argument about whether or not Navi could vote, and a fistfight, it was…"decided" that Bob would be the driver. No, no one actually _voted _for her, but why not let her have some fun? Did I mention this was during rush hour in New York? …Oops, musta forgot…

"WHAT!?" cried…well…everybody but Bob, who started jumping for joy, and Frankfurt Jowe, who, as usual, was somewhere else. Oh yeah, and Link, who cried, "QUE!?" Which, as Mr-Smarty-Pants Coronomon said, is WHAT in Spanish.

"Come on everybody, let's go!" said Bob, skipping aboard the bus. When she saw that nobody was following, she added, "There's a television." Everyone rushed on the bus.

Five seconds later, the television was forgotten as everyone clung to the seats and cried that they didn't want to die. Meanwhile, Bob was in full tour-bus-guy mode.

"And, if you look to your…beside you, you'll see several frightened-looking driver-persons swerving so that they don't crash into us. Silly peoples need to learn to drives like me!" Did I mention that she demolishes cars in our NASCAR racing game for fun?

"Umm…Bob, you're supposed to drive on the RIGHT side of the road!" Cried Mister-Smarty-Pants Coronomon.

"Really, Coronomon, no one likes a Smarty-Pants."

"Actually, Bob, he's right this time!" Lucario shouted. "PLEASE, PLEASE make it STOP!!! I've never even had chocolate yet!"

"Yes you have," Keroanne1 said, recalling their trip to the ice-cream place the previous Tuesday.

"That was chocolate ice-cream. It doesn't count."

"Why not?" Asked Gannondork, "why do you want to insult the ice-cream?"

"I'm not trying to insult ice-cream, it's just that, the Lucario in the movie, he got to have chocolate."

"Aren't dogs allergic to chocolate?"

"I'm NOT a log…dog…besides, dogs aren't _allergic_….it's just, poison."

"Wouldn't that be worse?" asked Grovyle.

"That's none of your business!"

"Should we have this conversation some other time? You know, when we're not about to be smooshed to bits in New York?"

"The state or the city?" Asked Coronomon.

"Who cares!? Either way, Bob's driving will kill us!"

"Are you insulting my driving?" Asked Bob, insulted.

"YES!"

"Well then, I guess I just won't drive anymore." Bob stood up, and crossed her arms angrily, walking to who knows where.

"BOB! NO!" But Bob wasn't listening. They hit a speed bump, flew up, and started flying towards a building. But then, the deadly collision was stopped in midair by Frankfurt Jowe, who magically appeared, and walked up to me.

"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOP PLAYING SOLITARE!!!" She screamed, flicking me in the forehead.

"OUCH! Jowe, SIT!" I shouted. Jowe had no choice but to sit down. Unfortunately, it was not in the driver's seat, so the bus was still on a crash-course to the building. Sigh. This is TOOOOOO DRAMATIC so instead, I'm just gonna make it rain chickens instead.

"CHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKENSEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I'll give you three guesses as to who this may be………………………WRONG!!! IT WAS ISSUN!!!!! (Teehee… ;P)

"NOOOOOOOOOOONOOOooOOOOOOONOOOOOOOOOOOOONOOOOOOOOOOONOOOOOOOOO" Cried Bob, for absolutely no reason. Suddenly, Waka appeared.

"Hi, Frenchie!" Bob said, happily licking cheese and kicking Frenchie.

"I DON'T LIKE PREESCHOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!" Frenchie cried.

(YAY!!!! Bob'z typing again! ;P)

"Jowe, play cards!" Catorrina yelled. Frankfurt Jowe got an evil look in her eyes, pretended to hold a fan of cards, looked around, and when nobody was looking she licked the air.

"Uhhmm… not to interrupt your lovely… uhhmm… uuhhh… performance, but the bus just fell off a HUGE cliff! And I NEED cheese or my eyes might fall of me nose and onto my face! Oh, wait, AHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It already happened! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Twilisia, a giant wolf called a twilight wolf (her back is purple) screamed in horror.

(Sorry, that's all Bob's attention span can handle)

"Catorrina, I'm bored with driving!"

"And Navi broke the TV!" Keroanne1 complained.

"Because YOU threw me at it." Navi replied.

"Hey, it's Issun! He's soooo tiny!!" Frankfurt Jowe is here, and stating the obvious as usual.

"Is he a bug? Chocobos like bugs!" The Chocobo of…. sorry CHIBI Chocobo of Death said.

"He's not a bug, stupid birdy, he's a …………….. ewww!" Bob said.

"Did he just…" Lucario asked.

"Ugh…so gross." Coronomon said.

"Mr. Chocobo, that was NOT nice! Now spit him back out!" Bob began hitting the Chocobo on the back of the head.

"Cough…Hack…WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE." Chibi Chocobo coughed up the mucus-covered Issun.

"Ugh. You'll pay for that you half-baked turkey."

Issun pulled out his…umm…toothpick?

"It's a sword!!!!"

_Right_. Okay, Issun pulled out his… "Sword" and began swinging at El Chibi Chocobo De Muerto, who in response, screamed "WAARK" and began trying to step on Issun.

"As I was saying," Bob said, ignoring Issun and the Chocobo's battle, "he's a magical floating potato."

"Oooooooooooooooh!" Everyone gathered around to stare at the magical potato. Even Mr. Chocobo stopped clawing him to stare in awe.

"I am NOT a potato! I am a Poncle."

"That's what I said- potato."

"No I'm-" Lucario placed a hand over Issun's… well, he was aiming for his mouth, but Issun's just _soooo_ tiny, that he covered his entire body

"You're never going to get them to listen to you, so don't bother. Just be glad that you aren't being stabbed yet," he whispered to the tiny bug.

"I'm a PONCLE!"

…………………………………………………………NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU OR THE SECURITYCENTER UPDATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Purple," Bob said, looking pleased with herself. Then, she glared at…- . -' The wall, and screamed-

"Screamed…I scream…. ICE CREAM!!!"

"You're all idiots! I'm leaving," Issun shouted.

"You can't leave yet. Navi's been looking foreword to a new playmate." Keroanne1 picked up Issun by the head and smiled evilly.

"Ugh," cried Gannondork, "will this ever end?"

…shut up. I coulda let you hit the building.

"Bob, yo tengo que ir al servicio." Okay, if you don't know who _that_ is by now…

"Link, I don't _want_ to tango. Ask Frenchie, he danced with a dog."

"No…yo tengo que ir al servicio ahora!!"

"Then ask Lucario, he controls aura."

"Bob, Link says he has to go to the bathroom. He doesn't wanna tango."

"Well, he shoulda just said something in the first place."

"I wanna go home now!" Grovyle cried.

"Too bad. Who needs home when you've got friends like us? ***Ring ring ring ring ring, Banana Phone! Ring ring ring ring ring, Banana Phone. OHHHHHH I want ice cream. FLUFFY PILLOW MONKEYS!"

And so, the nerds found themselves in a lake of cherry juice, floating on top of a giant ice cream sundae.

Keroanne1 cried, "I've got dibs on the top!" She then left Navi to drown in cherry juice and scrambled to the tippy top. Link began scooping chocolate ice cream from beneath Gannon, who was lactose intolerant, and unconscious. And in a dress. :D

"Hey, where's Bob, and/or Frankfurt Jowe?" Grovyle asked, looking for his bestest buddies.

"Uhh, I think she still thinks she's a tour guide," Lucario said, his mouth full of ice cream. As if on queue, Frankfurt Jowe floated by on a banana, talking to a group of people.

"If you look to your left-"

"Sure, _now_ she remembers which way is left."

"You'll see a Lucario stuffed with chocolate ice cream, a really hyper Grovyle jumping up and down and waving hysterically, trying not to fall in the juice, and an oversized, green, unconscious man lying on his face in a dress." She paused to let the group take pictures, and then continued. "And if you look to your left, you'll see Orochi battling Ameterasu…again. He will likely die the same way as before- or not. Oh, cool! He's never been blown up by an Arwing before!"

Just then, a fox, who looked just a wee bit hyped up on coffee, jumped out of the strange aircraft, landing on the sundae and knocking Coronomon to the ground. Lucario and Grovyle ran to see what the heck was going on. They were greeted by the fox who screamed, "Hi, I'm not Fox McCloud. I haven't had waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much coffee this morning. Did you know that the sky is purple, and the ice cream is made of pineapple turkeys and that Frankfurt Jowe's mustache isn't green?" As he babbled off these total lies, he grabbed Lucario's paw and Grovyle's head, and began shaking both while jumping up and down, splashing Coronomon with ice cream.

"Ack. Hey you stupid fox, what the heck are you doing?" Coronomon spat out the ice cream, only to get his mouth filled with more.

*"Oyu erwe docvere ni cei recam!" Laughed Fox.

"What?" Said, err, someone on the banana.

"Osmeoen owh eakpss ym gulagean! I ma Bob." Bob said, holding out her hand. Fox shook enthusiastically.

"Twah rea ouy godin htiw eseth doitios?"

"I'm not afraid of spiders," Inuyasha screamed randomly.

"Hety rae ym fiernds. Ersu eyth era dewir, tub eyth aer oocl," explained Bob, ignoring the puppy person.

"OHOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Sigh," Coronomon said, "I'm going to bed."

"Y me."

"Wait up!"

Soon, everyone stood and went to bed, except Bob, who would talk to Fox ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL night. And Navi, who was tied to a rock and dropped in the lake by Keroanne1. Oh yeah, and Gannon, who would remain unconscious until the sundae melted, and he joined the fishes.

* * *

**_Believe it or not, the conversation between Fox and Bob makes sense! It's a word scramble is all!_

_***Banana Phone is a real, beautiful song! On youtube at least…_

_Like I said afore...I don't think it was the best but 'least Bob likes it._

_!Adios mi amigos para ahora!_


	9. Christmas Special

MERRY CHRISTMAS/HANUKKAH/INSERT-COOL-HOLIDAY-HERE!!!!!!! We learneded about Hanukkah in school the other day. We played Dreidel for candy and I lost miserably but since my class brought in so much candy that everyone got 20 pieces of candy!!!!!!!!!!! Bob hates me now:P.

The * and ** mean that the new characters have descriptions at the bottom as they will probably be staying with us for a while.

Welcome to A WONDERFULLY HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS! The only holiday special that could possibly use the CAPS LOCK button more than any other button on the keyboard!

DISCLAIMER: …Seriously? I own nothing but the ranting author's notes I have typed. I don't even own the stuff mentioned in the ranting. My friends and I are responsible for the parodies, though.

A WONDERFULLY HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS

"MERRY CHRISTMAS PEOPLES!" Bob screamed in her "inside voice" which could crush rocks with its force. Everyone else jumped up suddenly.

"What, huh, who?" Coronomon said, rubbing his eyes.

"It's Christmas Eve!" Was Bob's I-can't-believe-you-didn't-know-this response.

"It's 12:01 Christmas Eve!" Lucario shouted. "We went to sleep at 11:55. Couldn't your idiocy wait until we've slept?"

"You did sleep a whole minute more than me! Now come on, we need to decorumate." Bob looked around at the house they were now miraculously sitting in. Because she's Bob, she made sure to leave all of the Christmas decorations in boxes. Grovyle and Aido saluted her and began fighting over a half a piece of garland, quite oblivious to anyone and anything in their way. Until…they stepped on Keroanne1, who was still sleeping, oblivious to the shouting.

"!?" She shouted, giving them such and evil glare that Bob hid behind Loki*. Unfortunately for her, Loki was smaller and considerably shorter than her. And wouldn't wake up until Yamino made breakfast, whether his life was in danger or not.

"LOKI!" Bob immediately began hugging the Nordic god of mischief and chaos, choking on the enormous white bow he wore.

"Fenrir, you're not allowed on the bed. And tell Yamino to keep it down, I don't want to wake up this early, whether he's up or not." Loki continued sleeping, quite unaware that he wasn't in his pink-sheeted, gigantic bed, and Bob was not his two-faced wolf/sheep/dog/son, Fenrir*.

"Yamino, of course!" Bob said, as if something had actually occurred to her nonexistent brain. To continue this charade, (which strongly impressed Grovyle and Aido, irritated the still-evil looking Keroanne1, and never fooled anyone else) she decided to shout "FLUFFY PILLOW MONKEYS," and hope something cool happened.

Nothing cool happened, but Yamino* and Mayura* fell from the sky.

"MASTER !" Yamino, Loki's youngest son, screamed as he fell onto Lucario's head.

Mayura landed on top of Loki. "MYSTERY! ALIEN ABDUCTION! Loki-kun, what are you doing here?"

"Gwaahh! Mayura, what are you doing here!? What's going on!? What did you do!?" …Maybe it was better if Loki hadn't woken up.

"Nothing!" Mayura said.

"Then who?"

"MEEE! PICK MEE!" Bob said, flailing her had around wildly, hitting Gannon in the head…somehow.

"Who are you?" Loki asked, still half asleep.

Bob flailed her hand around some more.

"You have to pick her…" Coronomon said. "Otherwise she'll stand there screaming like that until Ragnarok."

"Fine…I pick you."

Bob waved her hand around irritatedly. "Noooo…pick ME!"

"I pick…me?"

"Heimdall* and Freyr* did it!" Bob announced.

"But…Heimdall and Freyr aren't even here."

"Yes they are…they're over there decorumnating the Christmas tree." She pointed to her left…which meant everyone else's definition of right.

Okay, me time! "Bob," I interrupted, appearing in an epic cloud of smoke. I get cool entrances. "First of all, that's not a Christmas tree…Palm trees are not Christmas trees. And second of all, Nordic gods of schemes and Nordic gods of fertility do not make good Christmas ornaments…especially not with firewood and straw lain beneath them as if you were burning a live sacrifice."

"Duh…of course not!" Bob said, as if what I said was painfully obvious. "Not without the Nordic god of mischief too." She grabbed Loki's gigantical ribbon and dragged him to the tree.

"Sacrifice! Sacrifice!" Aido screamed.

"Wait, what!!???" He pulled out his cool, nameless staff, and hit Bob in the head. Bob let go of his ribbon and pulled an ax out of nowhere.

She began chopping down her "Christmas tree" screaming at the top of her lungs, "THE EVIL TREE MUST DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" while sobbing hysterically.

"Loki, is this your doing?" Heimdall shouted, dodging an ax blow. "This is low!"

"I'm here at 12 in the morning-" Loki replied.

"12:04 and 21….22…23…25 seconds!" Bob interrupted.

"Whatever. I'm here after midnight with an insane maniac, Yamino, Mayura, and random creatures. Do you THINK I wanted this?"

"Wait a minute…" Bob stopped suddenly and glared at me. "Wait…WHY DO YOU GET COOL ENTRANCES!?"

"Umm, because you never LEAVE to enter," Lucario said, after regaining consciousness and knocking Mayura to the ground…which immediately collapsed to reveal a large pit.

Bob ran out the previously nonexistent door and come back five seconds later…by crashing through the ceiling. "Hah! Take that Catorrina!"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, you have me now, Bob."

But, as usual, Bob's attention span was gone and she was now poking Loki repeatedly. "You are SO CUTE!"

"Can someone get us down from here!?" Heimdall shouted.

"HEIMDALL!" My friend Bloodra** screamed, hugging him tightly despite the ropes. He turned the same shade of purple crayon as his hair.

"Heimlich needs the Heimlich maneuver! Quick sacrifice to the Heimlich god!" Bob handcuffed Loki to her arm and tied up Grovyle, promptly hanging him over Coronomon's flaming head.

"Cool! I'm a sacrifice!" Grovyle shouted, sticking his tongue out at the jealous Aido.

"Bob, for the last time. STOP TRYING TO SACRIFICE GROVYLE USING MY HEAD!!!!" Coronomon shouted.

"Heimlich…I'm Heimdall!" He shouted through his choking and wheezing.

"Let Freyr down," Freyr said, "so Freyr can go to his Classic Japanese Beauty." He got anime-sparkly eyes as he gazed at the hole where Mayura had fallen.

"Let go of me!" Heimlich shouted. Bloodra continued hugging him cluelessly.

"Loki, what's going on?" Mayura asked cluelessly, wearing a Santa Clause outfit (she has to wear a funny outfit every episode or else).

"We were just about to dye your pink hair a pretty blue color," Keroanne1 said. "Using this beautiful homemade dye," which was making suspicious screaming noises and sparkling like a certain idiot we all know and try our best to ignore.

"Oh. Okay!" She walked along with Keroanne1, pretending to know exactly what was going on. She would fit in well here.

"No, Keroanne1. Don't torture her! It's Christmas eve," Bob pleaded. "Just leave the Navi goop on the stove where it belongs and leave the Mayura alone." Again, she glared at me. "Since SOMEONE criticized my beautiful tree, we has to make a new one." She pulled out scissors, glue, construction paper, holly berries, iodine, a rat, and the ax she had earlier. "Let's get to work."

While Grovyle, Aido, Keroanne1, Bob, the imprisoned Loki, and their newest idiot Mayura built a…tree… the rest of us began decorating the house. Even the Chibi Chocobo of Death managed to help by providing beautiful feathers for us to use. If not a bit unwillingly.

Once we were done, the house looked like… half-asleep idiots throwing garland up in a random house at 12 in the morning with no lights on decorated it. But in Bob's hallucinatory mind, it was SOOO PRETTY!

Suddenly, the apple dresser (don't ask who he is…it's an inside joke of Bob's "trapezoid of friends" which includes not me) walked in, trailed by Bob's friend PieMaster**. "Yes, you told me you like pie. And foamed at the mouth. Often. And WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE!?"

"It's Christmas eve," Bob announced. Loki pulled vainly at the handcuffs. Across the room, Waka tried the same with Keroanne1.

"Yes it is."

"You know. Jingle Bells and a fat guy squishing through the chimney and giving you stuff. I get lotsa pretty rocks!"

"And what does this have to do with breaking into my house?"

She let out a sigh. This guy clearly didn't get Christmas at all…

"FILL THE HALLS WITH GASOLINE! LALALALALAA LA LA LA LA!" She sang.

"STRIKE A MATCH AND WATCH IT GLEAM! HAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA!" PieMaster joined in.

"ALL YOUR MEMORIES ARE BURNING! HAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA cough!" Bloodra sang.

"NOW YOU'RE POOR AND YOU'RE WORTH CRAP!" Me and Stirack** the genius behind this beautiful carol finished.

"Okay, now I have idiots in my house AND my ears are bleeding. Please leave before I have to call the police."

"With what?" Bob whispered in a hoarse, creepy voice. She held his cell phone in her mouth. "LOKI'S COOL"

"LET ME GO!" He shouted in response.

"GET OUT!"

"What do apple dressers do exactly," Bob asked.

"Nothing with a bunch of freaks in their houses. Now leave."

"But we already decurumatededed…ed…………………..LOKI'S VOICE ACTOR IS SHANNON ELRIC!….EMERIC…!!"

"That's nice. Now leave."

"…CHRISTMAS EVE! AND VERDANDI IS KANAME IN DISGUISE!"

"Get out!"

"Christmas…

"CRASHING THROUGH THE SNOW!"

"ON A PAIR OF BROKEN SKIS!"

"THROUGH THE HILLS WE GO!"

"SMASHING INTO TREES!"

"THE SNOW IS TURNING RED!"

"I THINK I'M ALMOST DEAD!"

"WAKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL!"

"WITH STITCHES IN MY HEAD!"

We screamed.

"STOP SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROL PARODIES!"

"Pie!?" PieMaster heard. She began singing…

"JINGLE PIE, JINGLE PIE

WHIPPED CREAM ALL THE WAY

OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO EAT

PIE IN THE BACK OF A SLIEGH!"

"LOKI'S TRUE FORM HAS NEW CLOTHES THAT MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A MOVIE TICKET TAKER!"…If you don't know who this is….you're really dumb.

"Leave, now!"

Bob's turn:

"GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A POTATO

WALKING HOME FROM FRANKFURT TENESEE

YOU CAN SAY THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS EGGNOG

BUT AS FOR ME AND CORNFIELDS

WE BELIEVE."

"LOKI GETS AN EPIC SEQUENCE EVERY TIME HE GETS HIS STAFF!"

"Just one question…Bob…why do you know everything about my life?"

"Because Mayura shared her spy cameras and locator chip with me."

"What locator chip?" Mayura asked. Keroanne1 listened intently, intending to use this conversation for her own benefit…later on.

"You know, the one implanted in his skull."

"What!?" Loki and Mayura asked at the same time. Loki sounded a bit more irritated…but that might be because he was handcuffed to an idiot and Skuld and Freya where standing behind him, attempting to tear him in half with big pink hearts in their eyes.*

"No," Bob argued, "He's MINE!" She bit both their hands and pulled Loki away. Poor Loki….

"WILL YOU LEAVE!?"

Bob crossed her arms, quite forgetting that she had handcuffs on and flinging Loki to the ground, and grunted. "You obviously don't understand the spirit of Chri-"

"-yes, I do! But you broke into my house and glued crappy decorations to the walls and ceiling and floor."

"Dummy. Get rid of him, he's boring!" Bob waved her hand and her army of idiots tackled the apple dresser.

"Look, something shiny!" I whispered to Keroanne1. She looked the other way while we tied the ax to the tied-up apple dresser and wrapped them in shiny paper and stuffed them under the tree.

"Where!? Idon'!? OHNO! !" Keroanne1 shouted all in one breath before flailing in circles.

"OH NOES!WE MUSTCLEANUPTHEMESS!SANITIZEITWITHAIDO'SBLOOD!" Bob screamed in response, immediately grabbing Aido and forcing him towards the hideous mess.

"But...MY HAIR! IT WILL BECOME INFECTED WITH HER STUPIDITY!" Aido cried.

"Sacrifices must be made!" Bob shoved Aido face first in the goop, accomplishing nothing but giving everyone headaches as Aido sobbed over his hair and creating a bigger mess.

"Will you let go of me!?" Loki asked again, very irritadedly.

"No."

"Bob?" I asked.

"Aww…Couldn't you use Heimlich instead!?" She whined.

I looked over to where Bloodra was strangling "Heimlich" to death. She was NOT going to give him up without giving me rabies so potent, I would become infected in real life. "Pass. C'mon go play with Bob von Burglarstein." I used my magical powers to unlock the handcuffs on Loki, and threw a red ball towards Freyr. Bob chased after it merrily.

"Umm, thank you?" Loki asked suspiciously.

"Yes, there is a catch. If there wasn't, Bob wouldn't have left without flooding this room with her tears."

"Somehow, I don't doubt that. What's the catch?"

"Besides Coronomon, who's already got a role in this story, you're the only one intelligent enough to understand what's going on…not that anyone can fully comprehend what's going on in these gifted minds. Plus you have uber awesome theme music. But anyway…I don't like narrating from inside the story…first person is stupid. And if I use my super all-knowing voice, they get distracted and start yelling at nothing. So, you will be my messenger to the idiots. And in return, Bob will take out all of her problems on Bob Von Burglarstein instead."

"Deal."

"Kay, but for now, you're on Christmas break, because I want presents. And uber cool voices don't get presents!" And with that, I got an uber cool Nordic god of mischief to be my speaker person. Yayz!

"!" Bob cried. Why? I doubt she knows. But, of course, when she's upset over nothing, the first words out of her mouth are: "FLUFFY PILLOW-"

"SPECIAL DELIVERY!" Thor, a.k.a. Narugami (lightning god- how original) interrupted the cringing peoples and half-dead Heimdall. He crashed in through the wall, not 2 feet from the door, on a bicycle toting ramen noodles, and came to a crashing halt in the formerly not there closet. "Darn it. There goes another part-time job."

"Baka-sama!" Bob shouted with surprise. "I didn't even finish my spell!"

"What are you talking about!? And why are you calling me Baka-sama? Loki, what's going on here?"

Loki took a deep breath. "That girl is Bob. She apparently brought us all here by screaming random words at nowhere. Yamino, Mayura, Heimdall, Freyr, Freya, Skuld, and I have been here since midnight being continuously tormented and at one point handcuffed to these idiots. They shout whatever they need to talk about and when a problem comes up, they solve it by attempting to sacrifice one another or shout the first words they can think of and hope they make sense, while flailing around mindlessly. Bob's named Heimdall Heimlich, Freyr Bob Von Burglarstein, and you Baka-sama. Yamino's been hypnotized by Coronomon- the flaming lion-monkey, I haven't seen Mayura since Keroanne1 took her for a tour of this house, and I've been given the choice to either act as a messenger or be eternally tortured."

Freyr raised his hand. "Actually, I named myself Bob von Burglarstein."

Thor blinked a few times (people do that) and tried to comprehend what Loki said. Unfortunately, all he heard was shouting and something to do with the Heimlich maneuver on an idiot burglar.

Author's Note: Well, if I write any more about Christmas Eve, there will be no more time for Christmas Day! So instead, I'll let you imagine the horrors of the rest of the day. Bwahahahaha!

Christmas Eve Night:

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house

Everyone was shouting, except that poor mouse

The stockings were stapled outside the chimney without care

In hopes that Bob Von Burglarstein would leave pumpkins out there

The stupids were bouncing up and down on their beds,

While cookies and crackers danced over their heads

And Frankfurt Jowe in her mustache and Bob in her suit

Had glared at the window and tried to make soup…

When suddenly the kitchen exploded with clatter

In it was Gannon, getting fatter and fatter.

Keranne1 awoke with a crash

And onto Gannon's head landed the trash

The slime in the middle of the new-stolen home

Made frightened the bystanders watching below

When what to Bob's hallucinating eyes should appear

But an invisible pie and twelve strange dancing deer

On top of the roof danced Frey, and Bob immediately screamed

I know who it is: Bob Von Burglarstein

Dragging Heimdall along on a pig those two came

Then Bob whistled and shouted at her stupids by name:

"Wake up, Aido! Lucario too!

Coronomon, the same goes for you!

Now we jump out the window and stick to the wall

I forgot about gravity! I'm going to fall!"

As crazies before shiny objects may fly,

When they run into walls, so loudly they cry.

So round the house Grovyle flew,

Knocking down Heimlich and Burglarstein too.

And then a smashing I heard on the roof,

The stumbling and shouting of each giant goof.

As I took a deep breath to make a very big sound,

Down came the chimney, with Freyr so loud.

He was buried by idiots from his head to his foot,

And all of them tarnished by pumpkins and soot.

A big pumpkin pie had landed on his back,

Causing PieMaster to cry without slack.

Their eyes, how clouded! Their frowns, so un-merry!

When he stood in front of them and ate the last cherry!

Bloodra, drooling at the mouth, drew out Link's bow,

And threatened to fill him up with arrows.

The smile he gave her was so full of cheek!

As he reminded her that the supply was too meek.

Not one arrow could she fire at his belly,

So instead she decided to pelt him with jelly.

Such chaos for Christmas, I said to myself.

And sleeping he was, our only part-elf!

With a swing of a stick at his poor sleeping head,

Gannon knocked Link right out of his bed!

Onto poor Chocobo, who awoke with a "WARK!"

Which woke up Mayura- who cried, "what a jerk!"

Which then woke up Aido, who then grabbed the nose,

Of the Nordic god, Loki, who still hadn't rose.

Lucario woke with such a loud whistle,

From Frankfurt Jowe, who then chucked a thistle.

At the sleeping god Thor, who then did exclaim,

"What a terrible night, and what a horrible day!"

Christmas Day:

"HOORAY!" Bob shouted, for once using the proper amount of vowels to describe her excitement.

"Bob, are you feeling okay?" I asked, cautiously. Everyone else stared at me for asking such a ridiculously stupid question. "You let us sleep till dawn."

"Dawn starts with the number pudding." Bob replied- how reassuring. Loki had a point when he said they solve problems by shouting the first words that come to mind.

Freyr, meanwhile, had woken up screaming something about Freya. Suddenly, a pumpkin plant exploded in the center of the room.

Bob suddenly became annoyed. Up until then, she and Frankfurt Jowe were the only ones capable of producing random pumpkins. It…irrimutated her that a lowly character- awesome Nordic god or not- could have the same cool powers as one such as herself. Or maybe she was just irritated because frogs weren't raining from the sky at this moment. Yep, that was it.

…!

By the time I finished shouting this beautiful color in my head, everyone was up. Well, Yamino had been up for several hours already, cooking everyone breakfast. The kitchen was coated in slime, and…trash…but he solved that problem by mail ordering a new one. Everyone was now crowding around him, drooling, for he was making beautiful looking pancakes for breakfast. …Well, everyone but Loki, who was sleeping through the noise of the stupids.

Thor got really ticked off looking at this, especially since they were not allowed to open the presents piled under the tree until EVERYONE was awake. He pulled Mjollnir (which for whatever reason is pronounced mul-neer) and threatened to kill him.

"Loki, wake up! C'mon, breakfast is ready and everything."

Loki, who had taken off his jacket to use as a pillow, and held his staff for protection, blasted Thor with an awesome beam of destructive power. "Leave me alone, Thunder Boy," he murmured.

Seeing that anyone who bothered Loki would immediately get blasted with shiny, she took a long, deep breath, giving everyone time to put on earplugs, earmuffs, and crouch inside a soundproof barrier covering their ears. Then, she began to scream:

ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS, A MORON GAVE TO ME:

HEIMDALL TIED TO A PALM TREE

ON THE SECOND DAY OF CHRISTMAS, A MORON GAVE TO ME:

TWO PACKS OF PAPER

AND HEIMDALL TIED TO A PALM TREE!

ON THE THIRD DAY OF CHRISTMAS, A MORON GAVE TO ME

THREE FAMOUS SINGERS

TWO PACKS OF PAPER

AND HEIMDALL TIED TO A PALM TREE

ON THE FOURTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, A MORON GAVE TO ME

FOUR CANDY CAVES

THREE FAMOUS SINGERS

TWO PACKS OF PAPER

AND HEIMDALL TIED TO A PALM TREE

ON THE FIFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, A MORON GAVE TO ME

_FIVE NORDIC GODS_ (here, she shoved her hand into Lucario's face and her eye twitched. She repeated this everytime 5 came up)

FOUR CANDY CAVES

THREE FAMOUS SINGERS

TWO PACKS OF PAPER

AND HEIMDALL TIED TO A PALM TREE

ON THE SIXTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, A MORON GAVE TO ME

SIX LIGHTBULBS GLOWING

FIVE NORDIC GODS

FOUR CANDY CAVES

THREE FAMOUS SINGERS

TWO PACKS OF PAPER

AND HEIMDALL TIED TO A PALM TREE

ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, A MORON GAVE TO ME

SEVEN MICE SQUEAKING

SIX LIGHTBULBS GLOWING

_FIVE NORDIC GODS_

FOUR CANDY CAVES

THREE FAMOUS SINGERS

TWO PACKS OF PAPER

AND HEIMDALL TIED TO A PALM TREE

ON THE EIGHTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, A MORON GAVE TO ME

EIGHT CRACKERS DANCING

SEVEN MICE SQUEAKING

SIX LIGHTBULBS GLOWING

FIVE NORDIC GODS

FOUR CANDY CAVES

THREE FAMOUS SINGERS

TWO PACKS OF PAPER

AND HEIMDALL TIED TO A PALM TREE

ON THE NINTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, A MORON GAVE TO ME

NINE APPLES SPITTING

EIGHT CRACKERS DANCING

SEVEN MICE SQUEAKING

SIX LIGHTBULBS GLOWING

FIVE NORDIC GODS

FOUR CANDY CAVES

THREE FAMOUS SINGERS

TWO PACKS OF PAPER

AND HEIMDALL TIED TO A PALM TREE

ON THE TENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, A MORON GAVE TO ME

TEN POPCORNS POPPING

NINE APPLES SPITTING

EIGHT CRACKERS DANCING

SEVEN MICE SQUEAKING

SIX LIGHTBULBS GLOWING

FIVE NORDIC GODS

FOUR CANDY CAVES

THREE FAMOUS SINGERS

TWO PACKS OF PAPER

AND HEIMDALL TIED TO A PALM TREE

ON THE…………….ELEVENTEENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, A MORON GAVE TO ME

ELEVEN DUCKIES QUACKING

TEN POPCORNS POPPING

NINE APPLES SPITTING

EIGHT CRACKERS DANCING

SEVEN MICE SQUEAKING

SIX LIGHTBULBS GLOWING

FIVE NORDIC GODS

FOUR CANDY CAVES

THREE FAMOUS SINGERS

TWO PACKS OF PAPER

AND HEIMDALL TIED TO A PALM TREE

ON THE TWELF DAY OF CHRISTMAS, A MORON GAVE TO ME

TWELVE STUPIDS SINGING

ELEVEN DUCKIES QUACKING

TEN POPCORNS POPPING

NINE APPLES SPITTING

EIGHT CRACKERS DANCING

SEVEN MICE SQUEAKING

SIX LIGHTBULBS GLOWING

FIVE NORDIC GODS

FOUR CANDY CAVES

THREE FAMOUS SINGERS

TWO PACKS OF PAPER

AND HEIMDALL TIED TO A PALM TREEEE

She took a bow. "Is Loki awaked yet?" she asked the still sleeping Loki. He blinked (man, everyone is doing that for some reason) a few times before sitting up.

"Was that really necessary?" He asked. Hmm, he's the only one capable of sleeping through THAT. And his ears weren't even bleeding. Not even a little bit.

"Bob! You remembered that was your purpose that whole time!? AND you can count to twelve?" Coronomon said in amazement. "Several times."

"Nope," Bob replied.

"But you just did!"

"…nope, I'm pretty sure I counted to 167."

Loki stood up and grabbed his jacket. Being too lazy and awesome to struggle with the sleeves in his sleepy state, he merely threw his jacket over his shoulders, and it was automatically on. No, really, he actually does that.

"That defied all laws of physics, gravity, alchemy, and clothing. YOU DID'T EVEN USE EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE!" Rather than ask Bob what she meant by that, he decided that bowing would work best.

"Pancakes are ready!" Yamino called. In front of him was a massive- as in fill up a two story house and then some, massive- stack of pancakes. Crumbs flecked his face- how smart! He ate his helping BEFORE everyone jumped on the food, devouring it faster than hoard of rats. Teehee. Burp.

"I like having a personal chef," Bob said. Her mouth was still full of Frankfurt Jowe's pancakes, so it sounded more like "mymukmuvmn muf murf murf." But since everyone there became fluent at stupidese as soon as they heard Bob's voice, everyone pretended to understand.

"NAVI ATE MY PANCAKES!!!!" Keroanne1 sobbed.

"No I didn't," Navi argued. Hmpf. How rude. Just because she doesn't have a mouth or stomach or appetite, she thinks we'll actually believe her.

"Navi, how could you?"

"What a terrible moron!"

"Poor Keroanne1." Bob patted her friend on the head and glared evilly at Navi, who was cringing under a chair.

Thanks to spontaneous combustion, Bob's randomness, god powers, and Pokémon, the chair was burning, electrocuted, blasted with a death beam, blasted with another death beam, hit with a pig, hit with an aura sphere, hit with leaves of epic deadliness, and beaten by a guy holding a rubber chicken. Not to mention the horrible things done to her by Keroanne1. *Shudders*All at the same time. BWAHAHAHAHA!

And then, there was a knock on the window that wasn't there before. In hopped Absynthe*** Hakura*** and Osaki***…why'd they bother knocking?

"Hi me and me and Absynthe!" Bob greeted them, waving.

"Umm…hello?" Absynthe guessed.

"Hi!" Osaki waved back.

"Why isn't Absynthe dead? The sun's out, and he's a vampire." Hakura sounded disappointed.

"I'm not sure." Absynthe _wasn't_ disappointed.

"OH NOES!" Bob shouted, running around the toxic Christmas tree in several squares (circles were SO overrated).

"What is it, Bob?" Grovyle seemed confused.

"!" She shouted as she fished through the pile of presents, many of which moved eerily and looked like they were wrapped by a five-year-old. She then grabbed a bow out of nowhere and put it on a rock.

"YAY! ANOTHER PRETTY ROCK!!!!!!!!!" Hakura shouted. She then whispered suspiciously in Bob's ear.

"OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bob shouted back into Hakura's ear. Then, she handed a poorly wrapped box (that came out of her shoe) to Absynthe. Inside was…a pink Hello Kitty watch…

"I'm just going to pretend I DON'T know who just suggested this," Absynthe responded, immediately turning the present into black flames.

"Me next!" Osaki said, happily.

Bob immediately panicked. Stupid presents took YEARS to plan. And all she had…was…a time. She grabbed Loki's ribbon off of his neck, nearly strangling him in the process. Then, she tied it in Absynthe's incredibly long hair all girlishly. "Here- have Absynthe!" She pushed him towards Osaki, causing both to blush and Hakura to giggle.

"MY TUUUURN!" Grovyle shouted, waving his hand and interrupting the "cute" moment. He grabbed a very mushy package with the words namoenE, which was apparently his name in stupid. He tore open the package. Inside was a slice of half-melted cheese. "YAAAAYYYYYY! I'm naming him Jim Jr. After Steve.

Bob pushed a gigantical, thudding box towards Aido. Inside was: "YOU GOT ME A ME!!!!!!!" He looked at Kaito*, who was staring back shockedly.

"The only thing that could fit your ego was another ego," Coronomon said.

"She didn't get me any Eggos. She got me ME!"

"Oh, sure."

"Do you realize what that toxic goo is doing to property values?" Aido 2 asked us. How irrelevant.

"ME ME ME!!" Keroanne1 shouted, unable to wait for another second. She grabbed an oddly-shaped, "mmph"ing package from waaay underneath the acid that made up the tree's bottom. "COOL! I GOT AN APPLE DRESSER WHO GOT ME AN AX!" She pulled off the ax and began chasing the untied apple dresser around the house. He still mmphed, as Keroanne1 had fed him Navi. "COME BACK AND HOLD STILL SO I CAN HIT YOU!!"

"That always works," Lucario muttered sarcastically.

"Of course it does silly. Now open your present."

"I got… CHOCOLAATE! THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!" He began running around in circles happily, nearly tripping the frightened apple dresser on the way.

"Oooh. All capitals!!" Bob shouted excitedly. "Mayura, you next."

She handed Mayura a small, light box. Inside was…nothing. "MYSTERY!" She screamed in an annoyingly high-pitched voice. Putting on her kooky "mystery glasses" she began looking around for her…erm….lost present.

"Merry Christmas, Baka-sama. Here, I stole this from you." She handed him Mjollnir.

"WHAT A RIP-OFF! YOU GAVE ME MY OWN SWORD FOR CHRISTMAS!? WHICH YOU STOLE FROM ME!?" He yelled ungratefully.

"Hmph. I thought it was a lovely gift. Fine then, you can have the job of a professional apple dresser."

"YESS! Wait, what does an apple dresser do exactly?"

Bob stared at him blankly for a second. Then, the apple dresser ran past, mmphing for his life. "Ask him!"

And so, Thor began trying to stand in the apple dresser's path and politely ask him what his profession was. But that rude, rude apple dresser just pushed past him every time. Followed by Keroanne1.

And, for the sake of not continuing this chapter forever, we'll just say that Bob got a pretty lump of coal, Mr. Chocobo got his feathers back, Gannon got…a new bench to be chained to…which he promptly broke with his head. Coronomon got the newest unabridged dictionary, Frankfurt Jowe got a pretty lump of coal, I got… a potato, Link got a Spanish-to-English dictionary, which he couldn't read as he only READ Hylian, Yamino got a mail order catalogue, Bloodra got Heimlich, Heimlich got a leash to put around his neck, Freyr got fish-shaped pastries. Anyone I may have forgotten got a cookie. Philip**** got a yarn ball for his beautiful kitten. And Loki… well, Bob forgot his present, so:

"A SACRIFICE TO THE GODS!" She decideded. Then, she looked around at her friends, most of which were waving their hands around wildly. "I pick…LOKI!" Almost before she said this, she had tied him to the sacrificial palm tree.

"WAIT! BOB!" He protested.

"OH GREAT GOD OF MISCHIEF…MERRY CHRISTMAS!" She began in an epic tone…and lost it.

"GAHH!" Loki yelled.

"MASTER LOKI!" Yamino shouted.

"Bob," I warned. "What did I tell you about-"

"-Speaking?" She interrupted. "Not to do it."

"No, what did I tell you about sacrificing Nordic gods?"

"Not to do it ever."

"And that means…"

"Not to do it tomorrow."

"And?"

"Yesterday."

"And?"

"Any day except today! …………Fine…" She untied Loki. "Fluffy pillow-"

"BOBWHATAREYOUDOING!?" Everyone shouted.

"monkeys." Everyone ducked…and nothing happened. But, when they looked up, Loki had turned into…an adult and a movie-ticket-taker guy*. Only his cool cowlick gave him away…

"Thank you Bob. I like this much better than being sacrificed."

"I can't see why."

And so…If I write any more, I won't get this up until the New Year, 'cause it's 8:00 Christmas Eve. So, suffice to say (what kind of saying is this?) that everyone was an idiot for the rest of the day.

"WAIT YOU FORGOT THE ENDING THEME SONG!" Bob shouted.

"NO BOB!" Everyone shouted in return.

RUDOLPH THE PURPLE CHICKEN

HAD A VERY SHINY FOOT

AND IF YOU EVER SAW IT

YOU WOULD EVEN SAY IT SPARKLED

ALL OF THE OTHER WHEAT GRAINS

USED TO LAUGH AND EAT MCDONALDS

THEY NEVER LET POOR RUDOLPH

TRY TO EAT A BIG MAC

THEN ONE FOGGY CHICKEN FESTIVAL EVE

THE FARMER CAME TO SAY

RUDOLPH WITH YOUR SPARKLING FEET

WON'T YOU EAT MY GRAINS OF WHEAT

THEN HOW THE CHILDREN LOVED HIM

AS THEY ATE THEIR HAPPY MEALS

RUDOLPH THE PURPLE CHICKEN

YOU TASTED COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_ BUUURP!_

Merry Christmas everybody! For your presents, you get this, and an order to go on DBZ zone or something to watch Mythical Detective Loki Ragnarok, or Matantei Loki Ragnarok if you want Japanese subbed. Both are funny. Also, if you're reading this on Fanfiction, I'm probably going to be posting it on my and Bob's DeviantArt accounts more thoroughly. Try .com (me) or .com (Bob). MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

And now, for a very long explanation. Or, you could just watch the anime and skip this whole paragraph.

*Characters from our new obsession. Loki appears nine (though he's a much older Nordic god of mischief and chaos) He has reddish-brown hair, sleepy green eyes, and an adorable cowlick on the back-left of his head, and an IQ that surpasses the rest of the characters combined. He also likes pizza and sea otters. He turns into his more-adultish form sometimes (watch the anime) Mayura has long, pink hair, red eyes, and a mystery obsession. She's the only mortal friend Loki has, and is blind to his god identity, and will never catch on to our "mystery gift." Yamino has green hair, glasses, an obsession with mail order and cleaning, and a "father complex" (anime) Thor is the god of thunder. He has brown hair and eyes, a new part-time job every four seconds, and a sword that should be a hammer- Mjollnir. Heimdall, as we've said, has purple hair, one good red eye (he's convinced Loki stole his other) and is the god's nine-year-old gatekeeper. He wears gloves all the time, and hangs out with Freyr, who has long brown hair, blue eyes, a cape, and is only smart enough to come up with the so-Japanese name of Bob Von Burglarstein.

**Bob's best friends. They're all totally random (PieMaster is even known as PieMaster in real life) and awesome. Despite being 3 years younger than me, I get invited over along with Bob (or Hawky as we now call her) Bloodra's my best friend. We all call her Fluffy.

***Character's from Bob's book titled Absynthe. Read it on her deviantart page.

****Me and my friends Kara and Brianna recorded stupidity. It's on YouTube as The Story of Philip.

The end. BYE BYE!!!!


	10. Chapter Seventeen a half point two or so

_Kingdom Hearts! YAYY! Apples to Apples (or Manzanas con Manzanas- that's even better 'cause we could only read half the cards in Spanish class) And…I had something else to say…but I forgot…_

_So what's in store for this chappie? Bob's attention span continues it's fast deterioration, she adds another "L" to her obsession list (and finds out he's a really good soup ingredient), duplicates Gannon, torments an evildoer with a long sword, and defies the laws of physics and stuff. Oh, and Keroanne1 has waayy to much……………...something._

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN-AND-A-HALF-POINT-TWO

Bob's favorite day of the month(s)...With Guavas

We find our heroes…if you _really_ want to call them that…at their favorite place in the whole world. The one place that even Gannon didn't mind being…okay so he _did _mind being chained to it, but he still liked it better than other places. As I was saying though, they were at the ice cream store, located inside a mall…inside an ice cream store inside a mall…and so on. You see, Bob didn't like the fact that an ice cream store was always inside a mall, not the other way around. So, she decided to change that. Then, Frankfurt Jowe showed up- we haven't seen much of her of late, so everyone ('cept Aido, who's scared of her) was happy to see her. Until she got into an argument with Bob over how ridiculous it is to have a mall inside an ice cream store. So, while they argued (Fluffy Pillow Monkeys was often heard) we played a game of Apples to Apples- the bestest-best game in the world.

Meanwhile, Coronomon was reading a Lexicon, which is an Encyclopedic Dictionary, according to Wikipedia. We hit him with it, after I informed everyone that it was used as a weapon.

"SEPTEMBER FOOLS!" Bob shouted, succeeding in not only confusing the months and holidays, but also doing it without a point.

"It's April, Bob," Loki groaned.

"LOKI! LUCARIO! LOTTI! LOLLIPOPS! LAYLE! AXEL!" She shouted…ouch…for the eighteenth time.

"Umm….WHAT!?" Lucario shouted, once he regained feeling in his head.

"I like llllllllll words." Bob replied. "JANUARY FOOLS!" How can you even confuse January with April?

Loki, being my mind slave, asked this question to Bob. "Turkeys!" was the answer.

"Well, you see, officer, I was not in fact _driving _the car. I was merely an innocent victim," Keroanne1 tried to explain to a police officer…wait, why did they even put the keys in the car at the mall…never mind.

"But, we have videos of you climbing in and crashing it into a Hot Topic store," Mr. Police Guy said back.

"What videos? Can _I _see?" She asked. The stupid police officer held out the tapes…which were promptly fed to Grovyle.

"WHAAAAAA!" He said, jumping onto Aido and choking. "OWWOWOWOWOOWW! Tapes are pointy."

"Why didn't you save MEEE any?" Bob complained. "Look, that's not a toaster. June Fools!"

"Bob, that's a gumball machine," Loki said in the same voice he used to try and explain things to Mayura. "Gumball machines aren't toasters, they're gumball machines. And it's APRIL Fools. It's April, for Pete's sake."

"Who's Pete?" The Chibi Chocobo-who's-not-our-vicious-demon-rooster asked. "Is he another chocobo? Are you going to eat me and use him as a replacement?" Mr. Chocobo began sobbing.

"Was he always this paranoid," Lucario asked Coronomon. "Because I don't remember it at all." Coronomon shrugged.

"Now you see, I didn't crash the car into the store, the store crashed into me because it was trying to save me from Navi!"

"Okay, even if you did want to blame it on me, that doesn't even make sense!" Navi complained.

"Calm down miss, and…blue thing. I'm trying to straighten this out. Now, there are witnesses that say they saw you climb into the car and drive it. Unless that changes, you'll need to accept responsibility for the incident."

"Okay, so until tomorrow, after I brainwash…I mean…well see these witnesses, I am responsible?"

"Umm…I don't know how to answer that…"

"Well, a 'No, you seem like a very honest girl who wouldn't lie to me, here's fifty bucks,' would be nice."

"Umm...nice try but no."

"HIS HAIR IS BLUE!" Bob shouted randomly.

"His hair is a little gray," I said.

"NO IT'S BLUE!"

"I'm not saying it's not. I'm just saying that it has a tint of gray to it. Like Puffy's fur."

"It's blue," Zexion said irritatedly (and a bit confused as to how he randomly popped into the story and why two idiots were pulling his hair). "NOW GET OFF OF MY HEAD!!!"

"IT'S BLUE!" Bob screamed, ignoring Zexion's agreement. "FLUFFY PILLOW MONKEYS!"

Zexion's hair turned neon blue. And by neon, I mean the bright glow-in-the-dark lighted sign neon.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW! WHY IS MY HAIR BURNING!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????????" He screamed.

"Well duh, it's been on for how long now?" Was Bob's how-come-you-didn't-know-that response.

I laughed. Zexion was the quiet one that reads an encyclopedic dictionary for fun...Like Coronomon only without emotions. It was fun to watch him run in panic and tackle a very-confused police officer.

"Just put it out in that soup, it'll cool off" Grovyle said, not the least bit concerned as to the fact that the BOILING soup hadn't been there before. Nor that there was a person inside the boiling pot. Nor that it was boiling and would not in fact "cool off" Zexion's head.

"Layle! Do you like guavas?"

"Um, what?" He asked before screaming in pain. For Bob had forced him to appear in a vat of... boiling veggie soup.

"Oh, of course you do. That was a silly question. You smell like soup."

"How did I get here?" He tried again.

"What? Oh Layle, when'd you show up?"

And so, Bob's attention span ran out yet again, and she forgot entirely about Layle in the soup. And Zexion, who had dipped his head in a vat of ice cream. "*cough* FLUFFY PILLOW MONKEYS! *cough* Keiss, you look like a girl!" She announced just as he appeared. "Everyone says so."

"What are you talking about!?…and who are you again? And why is Layle in a pot of boiling soup?" He asked.

"Everyone thinks you're a girl. And I'm…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………."

"Bob. Your name is Bob." Lucario said.

"No silly, it's oBo, which is Bob inside out. You're easily confuzzleded. And why is there a Layle in my soup. I specifically requested 'no crystal bearer' when I ordered," Bob said importantly, walking around Keiss and tripping on the ceiling. She then glared at Lucario. "Where's my cappuccino?"

"Nowhere. You don't like cappuccino and I'm NOT your secretary."

"Oh. AIDO!"

"What? Have you finally realized I'm your biggest fan and worship the ground you'veneverwalkedon?"

"Nope. I just want a gumball."

"Oh," he said. "Here." Then, he went to go beat Coronomon in the arcade.

"What's the point of even playing if you narrated that I'm already beaten?" Coronomon complained.

"Can SOMEONE please explain what is going on here?" Layle asked after finally realizing that he could get out of the soup at any time. He brushed off the liquid (video-game peoples can do that) and stared expectantly at Loki, who was the only one who actually looked like he had an idea of what was going on.

"I don't think anyone knows," Loki said, shrugging.

"OH NO!!" Aido shrieked. "I CAN'T FIND MY TONGUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"It's umm…In your mouth," Lucario said, shaking his head. "Where it's always been."

"Oh yeah. Thanks Lucario."

"LUCARIO!" Bob echoed.

"Anytime. So, anyway, who are you two? I mean, outside of Layle and Keiss. We already know that."

"LAYLE! KEISS!" Bob echoed again.

"I'm the colonel of the Royal Army," Keiss said. Maybe he was hoping he'd get more respect that way.

"And I'm a crystal bearer." Layle pointed to the crystal on his cheek, which sparkled in the sun.

"DEFECTIVE VAMPIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bob screamed in panic, trying to shoot him with a laser sword. Which was the only reason why it didn't work. Giving up, she tried to bite his shoe, while he used his telekinetic crystal powers to block her. Keiss looked like he was enjoying this way too much. So was Layle.

"Get…off! What are you doing!?"

"SACRIFICE TO THE GODS OF SOUP!"

Loki hit Bob over the head with a stick.

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" She whined. "Lokiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, you're not allowed to hit me with soup. Aido, he hit me!"

"I hit you with a stick, not soup."

"SOUP! SOUP I SAY! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT SAY!...................................what?" Words cannot describe Bob's reaction or her face at this moment.

"QUICK! SACRIFICE LAYLE TO THE GODS OF SOUP! AND LOKI!" She and Grovyle and Aido grabbed them. Loki hit her again.

"Loki! WHY!?"

"Because Catorrina told me to hit you if you tried to make a live sacrifice." Oh don't blame me Loki. We all know you're enjoying it.

"OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOES! THEY'RE COMING! SEPHY!!! SAVE ME!!!"

"Is she okay?" Keiss asked.

"WHERE'S THE THREE-LLAMA BLOUSE!?"

"I don' think anyone here is," Loki answered.

To prove his point, Keroanne1 dragged the police officer up to them. "THERE HE IS! HE WRECKED THE CAR!" She pointed at Loki.

"Um, Keroanne1, I get CARSICK! There hasn't been a time when I was conscious in a car."

"Keroanne1!" Why did she echo everyone's name she heard? Because she does it in real life.

"Oh. Then she did it," she said, pointing at Keiss.

"I'm NOT a GIRL! And what are you talking about."

"As if you don't know," she said, crossing her arms. The poor police officer sighed.

"You know what? It's just not worth it," he said.

"SEPHIROTH!!!!!!!!" Suddenly, Sephiroth (psst, Sephiroth's not a real word) was standing beside them.

"…" He said.

"WHY WON"T YOU HELP ME ON FINAL FANTASY VII!!!??"

"…" He said again.

"Sephy, I'm telling your mother."

"NO! DON'T TELL MOMMY!" HE suddenly began sobbing.

"I will. I will. She's on speed dial."

"Bob," Coronomon said, "you don't have a phone.

"Of course not, silly. This's Kadaj's phone. Hello, Jenova?" Bob said into the phone.

"No, this is a pizza delivery service. Would you like to order something?"

"NO, YOU'RE JENOVA!!" Bob said stubbornly.

"No, I make pizzas. PIZ-ZA. What would you like?"

"Fine, Jenova, I'll take a large pepperoni pizza with twice the number of anchovies times five minus six subtracted by 995 and multiplied by five to get the same number."

"Um, what?" But Bob hung up the phone.

"She'll be here in thirty minutes or less or we get a free pizza. And we will get a free pizza 'cause I didn't tell her the address," She said in a singsong voice.

"Okay. In the meantime, can you make a clothing store or something that doesn't sell suits. I'm covered in soup," Layle complained.

"Sure. FLUFFY PILLOW MONKEYS!" Suddenly, there was a casual dress store next to them. And by casual dress....we mean dresses. Lots of dresses, greeting everyone casually.

"Okay. Now can you make something that I would actually wear?"

"You can wear a dress. Keiss does it all the time."

"I AM NOT WEARING A DRESS!!"

"Suuuure you're not," Bob said sarcastically.

"Umm...can you make something that I could actually wear without losing all my dignity?"

"What dignity? Oh, okay." Bob said the magical words again and suddenly, a clothing store was there.

"Mr. Store Salesperson Guy, do you like guavas?" Bob asked the store salesperson guy. Who was King Arthur.

"Erm...What?" He asked.

"They're fruit. And start with a gua sound."

By the time this lengthy conversation was over, Layle had tried on eighty seven different outfits. He could be one of those magicians or something.

"Layle, what did you do with your chain-mail coat?" Coronomon asked. Bob again echoed the name. "You can't keep it in your pocket."

"Well, you see-" Layle began explaining.

"Sephiroth, what kind of shampoo do you use. It smells like strawberries and cherries and guavas. Oh wait, that's your perfume that's guava scented. Do you like guavas?"

"Get off of my shoulder twit!" He shouted back.

"But I modeled my Firefox after you. You should be proud!"

"Or weirded out," Lucario added.

"LUCARIO! D-"

"No Bob. I don't like guavas."

"Oh." She sounded disappointed. "Lucario, do you-"

"No I still don't like guavas."

"Lucario-"

"No. And to answer the question again, no times derf pickles."

"NOT DERF!"

"Yes. Derf. Now leave me alone." He went to go play the arcade machines.

"OH NO! IT'S HIDEOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bob panicked.

"Bob, that's Gannon. His ugliness goes without saying," The Chibi Chocobo of Death said.

"GANNON!"

"HEY!" Gannon protested.

"Oh, you know it's true." Bob patted him on the shoulder in sympathy.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Keroanne1 squealed while riding a motor-scooter past the policeman.

"Who gave her caffeine before the chapter started?" Coronomon said. Grovyle whistled suspiciously and ran to hide behind Link.

"Yo quiero tomates!" He shouted, looking confused even as he said it.

"Roxas ha comido todo el pudding!" Bob screamed.

"No, I didn't eat all the pudding," Roxas said. "It was either Axel or Absynthe.

"AXEL! ABSYNTHE!"

"You like people with French names don't you?" Coronomon accused Bob.

"MY NAME IS PIERRE!" Aido decided suddenly.

"Ignoring Pierre's comment," Bob announced, "I'm not really smart. I just smell smart."

"No. No you do not. You smell like you spent a week under a dump truck looking for a piece of pepperoni which was taped to your nose the whole time," Loki said.

"I did. And all I found was a smarticle-particle, proof that I have watched way to much Sweet Life on Deck. Barbed wire can stab your eyes out! SEPHY THINK FAST!" Bob chucked barbed wire at her idol.

"WHAT!?#$ (No, it's not what you think. I just hate the backspace button)" He didn't catch it in time.

"So does anything here actually make sense?" Keiss asked.

"WHAT!? LOGIC IS FOR LOSERS! And Axel. Oh wait, no he lost that."

"What did I lose?" Axel asked.

"Your hair."

"WHAT!??????" Axel began panicking, not stopping to check whether or not he actually LOST his hair. He ran through the fountain...no wrong "f"...He ran through the freeway.

"PARKWAYS ARE FOR DRIVING AND DRIVEWAYS ARE FOR PARKING AND PARKING IS IN THE PARKING LOT EXCEPT WHEN YOU PARK IN THE DRIVEWAY AND YOU CAN DRIVE IN A VERY LONG DRIVEWAY BUT YOU SHOULD NEVER PARK IN THE PARKWAY UNLESS THERE'S TOO MUCH TRAFFIC IN WHICH CASE YOU CAN EITHER PARK, FLY AWAY, HIT THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU, OR YOU CAN START SCREAMING RANDOM INSULTS IN BIRD LANGUAGE. DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE IF YOU KNOW THE BIRD LANGUAGE IS FULL OF INSULTS? FLUFFY PILLOW MONKEYS!!"

Absynthe was the first to respond. "Is it sad that that's the longest she's ever stayed on the same topic?" Then, he threw up. Why? Because Bob spent an entire afternoon spinning the marble he was kept in and forced him and Ehtnnyesaba to watch a movie on water because she was bored.

"I think I'm deaf," Sephiroth said, for Bob spent the entire rant sitting right next to his ear (psst, that means she sat on his shoulder)

"NOO! Sephiroth how dare you admit a weakness," Bob scolded. "AVALANCHE shall kill youuu!" And then...a rock fell on his head.

"And here we go again with the falling rocks," Lucario muttered crossly.

"Didn't we drop this in chapter one?" Link asked.

"You still never talked to me!" Gannon whined.

"Didn't we drop THAT in the first few chapters too?" Grovyle asked.

"JUST EAT IT!!!" Bob shouted.

"We dropped Weird Al, too, Bob," the cookie crumb said. We dropped you too, cookie crumb. And a bird ate you.

Then the bird came back to eat him again.

"FLUFFY PILLOW MONKEYS!" Bob shouted.

"We should have dropped that after the first chapter too," Coronomon said, as they all jumped in the middle of the parkway that Bob had summoned. Anything was better than facing the monkeys.

Suddenly, a pineapple fell from the sky and fell into Bob's hand dramatically. "SIMBA! You are the rightful king, not Scar," she announced, ruining all traces of coolness not already destroyed by the fact that it was a pineapple.

And then she decided to join the-

"FINISHING SENTENCES IS IMPORTANT!"

Right. Okay Bob. Anyway, the pizza guy showed up. Upon seeing him, Bob shoved him behind a huge pile of rubble caused when the berserk Keroanne1 turned every one of the motors in the cars into an explosive.

"You are Jenova," she whispered to him evilly. "And you are a girl!"

"No. I'm pretty sure I'm Ted. Which is a boy name. It says so right here on my name tag." Is it sad he needs a name tag to figure out his gender?

"No, you are Jenova." As she said this, she crossed out TED on his tag and wrote JENOVA HOOZ IZ UH GURL. "See?"

"Oh, okay. I am Jenova who is a girl."

They stepped out from behind the rubble. To cover up the discussion she shouted, "YOU ARE POINT ONE SECONDS LATE! WE GET A FREE PIZZA!"

"Actually, we don't have that policy."

"Yes you do Jenova. It's on your name tag, can't you see it? Fluffy pillow monkeys." The name tag read "WE DELIVER IN THIRTY MINUTES OR YOU GET A FREE PIZZA!" under the name JENOVA.

"Tramposa," Link accused.

"Cheaters are winners!" Keroanne1 said before blowing something else up. It looked surprisingly like Navi on a missile. What did we do to her?

"Mother you look different," Sephiroth said. "Like a pizza delivery man not smart enough to count past two."

"Of course I can count past two...but I'm not gonna show you. So how are you, son?"

"Yeah, mother would say that too."

"Seriously, we get a free pizza," Bob insisted.

"No, Bob, that's cheating," Loki warned.

"TRAMPOSA," Bob shouted happily, before humming very annoying Final Fantasy sounds. It was very impressive though- you could hear every different instrument.

"MUAHAHAHAHA!" Keroanne1 laughed evilly after blowing up Saturn.

"Now it's 'My very entertaining mop juice' not 'My very entertaining mother just served us nine' and if you add Pluto it's guavas," Bob sobbed.

"Wait," Coronomon asked, "what happened to Uranus?"

"THE INCIDENT!" Lucario screamed.

* * *

_Ah, Keroanne1, what would we do without you in this story. There'd be a lot less violence, for one thing._

_What incident? The 'it' I never got around to writing about because Bob wanted to go to Cheese Dog Land._

_Anyway, my fingers hurt and all our ideas will explode the paper if we write them all in one chappie. I EXPECT REVIEWS!  
_


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